watching

I still think about the last funeral I went to. I got there too early but no one saw me. I sat in the back, thinking – unwillingly – that this was horrible way to say goodbye. I remember asking God, How could they believe such a lie? They brought my friend in a wooden…

where it starts

My friend with the resting pained face sat next to me at a table of laughing friends, not meeting my eyes. I knew him well enough now to tell something was wrong and that, due to a recent rough patch we went through, he definitely wouldn’t tell me about it. The chilly Friday night air…

the runaway

I get home from student ministries and, after having so much fun and drinking too much coffee, lay in bed and remember the runaway. She was just another girl who ran from home and God… who lashed out, who felt crippled by despair, who tried to die, who literally jumped off a roof. And I…

neither do I

“I feel like you’re making up reasons to feel bad,” a dear friend suggested late one night. “Nobody is upset with you. You’re forgiven.” Seeing on my face that I didn’t feel convinced, he patted my shoulder and smiled. “You’ll feel better in the morning,” he said. “Go get some sleep.” Six hours later, my…

surrender

Whenever I saw bullies causing someone pain in school, I did something about it. Sometimes I got them to back off. Other times I made enemies. Once I even got seriously hurt. In any case, I never just stood by when someone needed help. Sometimes I feel like people do just that to me. They…

you, the loved, are never poor

{by Megan, guest writer} “Tis the season” echoes inescapably wherever we go, each time met with different meanings. Everywhere starts getting a little more crowded, with people and anticipation. A fair few attend religious ceremonies. Many commit to changes and resolutions that are never quite accomplished. One easily forgotten description of this season sticks out…

reflection

Once upon a time, I woke up on an old friend’s couch with a throbbing head and guilty heart. I blinked through eyes bloodshot from dry contacts, my confusion slowly fading as I remembered where and who I was. I was a brand-new Christian in a situation I should have avoided but recklessly sought after….

oh you imperfect little someone

“People will always let you down,” my friend concluded, looking away from me and out the window. A pit started growing in my stomach as I confusedly asked, “Is that your way of letting me down easy? Are you saying that I shouldn’t count on you?” I expected him to say yes. I sat there…

shotgun

This past October, my life became so stressful that I had a mini-meltdown while driving around and talking to God. My family felt like it shattered apart when my dad checked into the hospital. Exciting work opportunities slipped away from me. I found myself at odds with someone I truly care about. The prospect of…